June 2011
37 posts
Wherever, Whenever, Whatever
Passion
This is my first girlfriend and so many things have come to my realization from this partnership. A lot has been revealed about myself and herself. Things only we know, things that only we have inside jokes to. Secrets that only we know, we know how to make each other the happiest person, and we know just as well how to make them the worst. Intimacy in its beauty and danger.
Anyways, my love and I decided to take a week long break after 2 years and 3 months of never breaking up or going on break. Our first time not calling each other just cause we decided not to. Honestly I prefer not to do that cause I see it as wasting time, especially over something that was accidentally fought about. But the purpose of me writing is to really reflect on this week of Self-time.
I must say that I was more peaceful. Since there was an understanding of no calling/texting/email there was no EXPECTATION from each other. And as for me, that brought me a lot of peace. I understand that as we commit to things such as dates, monthversaries, calling each other at night, the great idea comes with a sacrifice of expectation and pressure. Which I believe was the source of many hardships between us.
Yesterday, I watched Good Will Hunting, for some reason, it always plays in the 300 channels (for all those cox users) but this time was different. I really listened and paid attention like it was a lecture, I took every action and every word to heart. It talked about the importance of knowing who you are and doing what you believe is right. Matt Damon chose to “see about a girl” and I could not help but think about Angel. After the movie, I went in my room, dropped to my knees, and cried.
My bed was there but my floor seemed more appropriate. As I looked for the best picture of angel to enhance my crying over her and just simply missing her. I found this picture of Angel. Nothing fancy, I visited one day and she was wearing her pambahay, her shoulders slouched, the forced smile on her face cause i told her to, the messy hair, and her naked face un-touched by the magic ladies call make up.
I zoomed into her face and looked at her eyes, I kissed my phone. And talked to her like she was right by my side. I even moved the mess to give her room. I closed my eyes and imagined what I would say to her when I see her again. I pictured us in a park on a table under the sun across from each other holding hands and looking each other in the eyes.
I’m going to tell her that “Everything about you I love. From your sun-pinched face, to your little toes. Every Idiosyncrasy about you I’m in love with. I love you for who you are inside and out I love you so much. I’m sorry for the times we’ve failed to be a happy couple but always know that if you ever need anything. Wherever Whenever Whatever.”
I love you Angelea Keilani Marie Schillinger
Your my first, my one, and only.
<3 Vanilla Bean
P.S. Im calling her tonight :) More than excited <3
LOVE
I never believed in breaks until something unbelievably inexcusable happened. I figured if I just let that fly by and forgive like another argument, I would’ve classified it as nothing. Besides we’ve been pressuring each other with expectations and haven’t had the best of times. Thus, We have taken our first ever break . Since I was old enough to know what a relationship was, I believed that breaks are STUPID. Your either together or Not, your either hot nor cold. Never lukewarm correct? But everyone has different circumstances for you to just shove your opinion on relationships that you don’t belong to, is to me, Naive. Respect goes long ways.This is my first girlfriend and so many things have come to my realization from this partnership. A lot has been revealed about myself and herself. Things only we know, things that only we have inside jokes to. Secrets that only we know, we know how to make each other the happiest person, and we know just as well how to make them the worst. Intimacy in its beauty and danger.
Anyways, my love and I decided to take a week long break after 2 years and 3 months of never breaking up or going on break. Our first time not calling each other just cause we decided not to. Honestly I prefer not to do that cause I see it as wasting time, especially over something that was accidentally fought about. But the purpose of me writing is to really reflect on this week of Self-time.
I must say that I was more peaceful. Since there was an understanding of no calling/texting/email there was no EXPECTATION from each other. And as for me, that brought me a lot of peace. I understand that as we commit to things such as dates, monthversaries, calling each other at night, the great idea comes with a sacrifice of expectation and pressure. Which I believe was the source of many hardships between us.
Yesterday, I watched Good Will Hunting, for some reason, it always plays in the 300 channels (for all those cox users) but this time was different. I really listened and paid attention like it was a lecture, I took every action and every word to heart. It talked about the importance of knowing who you are and doing what you believe is right. Matt Damon chose to “see about a girl” and I could not help but think about Angel. After the movie, I went in my room, dropped to my knees, and cried.
My bed was there but my floor seemed more appropriate. As I looked for the best picture of angel to enhance my crying over her and just simply missing her. I found this picture of Angel. Nothing fancy, I visited one day and she was wearing her pambahay, her shoulders slouched, the forced smile on her face cause i told her to, the messy hair, and her naked face un-touched by the magic ladies call make up.
I zoomed into her face and looked at her eyes, I kissed my phone. And talked to her like she was right by my side. I even moved the mess to give her room. I closed my eyes and imagined what I would say to her when I see her again. I pictured us in a park on a table under the sun across from each other holding hands and looking each other in the eyes.
I’m going to tell her that “Everything about you I love. From your sun-pinched face, to your little toes. Every Idiosyncrasy about you I’m in love with. I love you for who you are inside and out I love you so much. I’m sorry for the times we’ve failed to be a happy couple but always know that if you ever need anything. Wherever Whenever Whatever.”
I love you Angelea Keilani Marie Schillinger
Your my first, my one, and only.
<3 Vanilla Bean
P.S. Im calling her tonight :) More than excited <3
Listen
Frank Sinatra - Beyond The Sea.
Snap yo fanguhs vibe. ;)
I feel like the funniest people are the wisest
It’s one thing to be knowledgable at something, it’s another thing to be able to creatively articulate information enough to make someone laugh with what you know.
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
So Jesus, what your saying is that when I am angry I am giving the devil a foothold? Dictionary.com says it’s a secure position from which further progress can be made. Well that sucks.
Anger is a huge issue of mine, I struggle a lot in this area. I let my anger control me and I lose all common sense. But right now I am taking means to work on this. I am really seeking God in this area and reading and meditating His word so that I can be refined through His fire. I’m telling you it’s a desire to master my emotions but i’m sure it is a long process.
I read this passage and focus on the “don’t let the sun go down part.” One of the many reasons why I confront issues on the spot and solve it: As Soon As Possible. But now I am going to focus on the whole verse and remember to NOT give the Devil a foothold.
What made you so passionate about music??!
Since I was a wee lil lad, my parents would force me to do “Special Numbers” for church. Special number was a way to define whatever we did on stage. Anyways, being the Kuya, I was in charge of doing the choreography and Since I was little I had a very High Range. I miss it so much. FOCUS ADRIAN! ok so the singing was where and when I first recognised music in my life. I was highly influenced by Gary V, Carmen, Jaci Velasquez Christian Singers back then and it was cool! Hated to do it at times but it made everyone happy! haha, My talent was always encouraged by my Church friends and I remember my Uncle Bayani telling me don’t scream, sing. Cause I always thought singing was screaming. XD I even learned the Violin in 6th grade 1st chair but only cause i was the only Violinist XD
FOCUSSS….
ok, to answer your question my passion began with a motivation. A quite immature motivation to say the least but can you blame me? A girl named Jessica a very obnoxious girl yet very pretty (at the TIME XD )in Ofarrel yelled in home base class “GUYS WHO PLAY GUITAR ARE HOT!!!!” and from that moment on i knew…
…I was going to learn it.
My first song was Mission Impossible 007 theme the first 10 seconds of it though. It was hard work trying something I never knew how to do! I looked for the dusty guitar and accomplished what to me at the time was a miracle. As I went in front of the TV that Jarell and Jeffrey were watching I obnoxiously showed them the song, “Hey guys check this out!” With excitement in my face I concentrated to do my best to impress them. Unfortunately, they cut me off short and said “KUYA MOVE”and from that moment on i knew…
….that I needed NOT someones approval…
That’s when it became a passion. Where i realized that if I wanted to learn music I had to do it for myself, From then on I learned Piano and Harmony, got involved with my church band, and learned drums and bass. Music is like magic to me. They say that music unlocks a part of you that nothing else can. I believe it’s true. It’s like floating art that you can not see but feel. It takes you on a journey from start to finish and by the time it’s done you want to play it again. Without Music Dance wouldve never existed, and once I understood that Music was a whole new world without secrets still to discover that I understood that Music is my passion. Some say that Guitar is my passion but honestly, it’s music in general. It fascinates me with the satisfaction of knowledge. Being able to use my passion for God on the other hand really helps me humble myself and build my passion for Him. Which is way more important than anything.
But nothing makes me more happier than to share my knowledge of music and collaborate with my brothers and people just like you juan ;)
is it ever worth the trouble to fight for something, someone, you know is in your reach but who can and most likely will slip away in time?
Such a question really requires a situation, but I’ll do my best. You already consider fighting for someone so what is stopping you? We don’t fight for anything unless it has importance or special meaning. So what you need to ask, anon, is that is this “person” worth fighting for?
If yes, continue reading.
You ask is it worth the trouble, so you are already aware of the problems that are to come, You are standing up for what you believe in and you see the oppurtunity growing slim. You HAVE TO recognize that what you want, is going to be gone. So you have no choice but to go through the trouble before it’s too late. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR. WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?! are you afraid they wont like you? WHY? if they don’t like you and your willing to go through the trouble for them, then the issue isn’t if you should fight for him/her, it’s that the person doesn’t recognize that you are making an effort. And I say, it’s their loss.
What you are willing to do in the process will define the type of person you are right off the bat. Make sure your not a doormat who just falls head over heels ok, dont be a sucker. Or you’ll get into something that you didn’t want thinking that you got what you wanted. Respect yourself. Don’t be afraid and just try.
All in All, Yes; it’s worth the trouble. Don’t focus on the risk but rather the reward
If all fails, take a break from that someone/something and reassess your values.
Im curious in your curiosity
“Nobody taught us to quit.”
—(via jatienzaa)
Play
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastics 3:11
Play
Indecent Exposure
Self Control and Carnal Motivation
Led by my senses is the deadliest sensation
When instead we should be living by the spirit
Like it says in Galations
Battle is in the mind. But that’s ok.
But when the battle is over whose kingdom will take place?
Keeping it Real don’t mean keeping it Right.
Instead let’s keep it Godly and Keep shining that light.
That Sinful nature is just a feeling, keep that in mind
But once its out yo head, your downfall’s more inclined
Dont fulfill that feeling of the overtaking sin
Cause there’s a solution untapped the Jesus from within.
Galations 5:16
<3Adrian Mique
Play
